Last year I was happily single on Valentine’s day. This year, I’m happy to report, I am still single.
India has taught me a lot about social pressure, and I’m not sure there is any greater social pressure in Indian society than to get married. Married people seem to be perceived as more grounded and mature. Marriage and children appears to be the only path toward lasting happiness. Maybe so. I don’t know. I just know a lot of people out there get depressed on this day for no reason.
If you are depressed today…
- Enjoy being single. If you ask any married person I’m sure they’ll say they wished they had done X, Y, or Z before they got married. Do X or Y or Z today. Really, go do it now.
- If being alone makes you sad, what makes you think that being together with someone will make you happy? Only YOU can make yourself happy. Another person can’t be your medicine to make you happy. They can be like a drug or addiction though, making you think that without them you’ll be unhappy. That’s not good.
- The less you want to find that special someone, the more likely you probably are to find him/her. I can’t provide a link to some scientific study about this, but anecdotally I can say that not caring has given me many more opportunities to meet girls on this trip. Back in normal life when I was shy and tried so hard to find someone nothing ever worked. Instead I just kept digging the unhappiness hole farther and farther into the ground.
- If you focus on being awesome, which for me is doing good from the heart (not doing good for the ego/brain and not after careful cost/benefit analysis), then you’ll attract more awesomeness. Focus on being yourself, heck, finding yourself since that’s so difficult to begin with in Western society, and you’ll attract like-minded, powerful awesomeness to propel you further in an already happy life. And if you don’t find someone, you’re more than likely already quite content and happy as it is.
If nothing else fails, I call upon the sage wisdom of Barney Stinson from the TV show How I Met Your Mother. Focus on getting more awesome, doing good for others, doing good for yourself and your soul, and you’ll attract what you want and need in life. I promise.
If that didn’t work, try this one.
About Adam Pervez
In mid-2011 I left my cushy corporate job and took the plunge into a life incorporating my passions of traveling, writing, volunteering, learning, educating, and telling stories. I study what happiness means to others, offer what I can from my engineering/MBA background as a volunteer, and try to leave each place better than how I found it. Read more.