Don't Mess With Filipino Grandmas

Unwanted Attention From Filipino Grandmas

Something strange happened while I was in The Philippines. I don’t know how to explain it though.

Let’s just say that girls (of all ages) began paying a lot more attention to me.

It started in Cebu where, upon doing simple things like buying a pre-cut mango from a grandma on the side of the street would start a conversation that would go like this:

Me: “How much are the mangoes?”
Grandma: “10 Pesos. Would you like one?”
Me: “Sure.”
Grandma: “Are you single?”
Me: “Yes.”
Grandma: “You are very handsome. I have single daughters and granddaughters. Would you like to meet them?”
Me: “No thanks, I just want some mangoes right now.”
Grandma: “Are you sure? They are very pretty and would make great wives.”
Me: “100% sure. Just some mangoes please…”

At this point I start sweating bullets instead of the normal BBs the 33C/92F degree heat naturally draws out of me.

As she hands me the bag, she again pauses to make sure I don’t want to meet her relatives.

I confirm I don’t.

All I Want Is Some Mango...

All I Want Is Some Mango…

Such interactions always ended in smiles and laughs (though mine were often forced to be socially pleasant). It happened more times than I can count. I was also offered prostitutes by men in Angeles and Cebu as I walked down the street minding my own business.

The prostitutes thing is different. But the single women thing…

I don’t know. I think it’s a “grass is always greener” situation where these women figure their daughter or granddaughter would have a better life with me, a foreigner. The grandma selling mangoes doesn’t ask male Filipino customers if they’re single, I presume.

It depends what better means, but for sure they are thinking in terms of money – that a life with me would guarantee a better financial future. Of course, they have no idea I’m The Happy Nomad and I’m sure that in the past year that fruit vending grandma has made a lot more money than I have. Kind of ironic, actually.

Kind of sad, too.

But as I learned in Samal, you don’t mess with Filipino Grandmas…

Don't Mess With Filipino Grandmas

Don’t Mess With Filipino Grandmas

2 replies
  1. Maria
    Maria says:

    Where’d you get the pic of my grandmother? *laugh*

    Adam, you have means to send their sons/brothers/nephews to private school, fix their husband’s/father’s/uncle’s roof or load up their barnyard with goats, etc… and in exchange, well, “marriage” doesn’t always mean what westerners think. As you get into SE Asia your tuk-tuk or moto driver can help with any need you can imagine and the “happy pizza” you might be offered can be loaded with any psychedelic you choose. Take it in stride, as you have been or just tell them you’re married and en-route to your wife. You’ll be fine.


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