The Most Important Lesson On Love I’ve Learned

Though I’m still happily single (see 2012’s My Happily Single February 14th, 2012 and 2013’s Another Happily Single Valentine’s Day), I think something important is overlooked on this holiday of love.

Today is a day to celebrate love. That’s great. Though it’s too commercial I definitely see value in taking a day to celebrate something so fundamental in every human being’s life. But at the same time I feel like there’s an elephant in the room.

As I returned to North America I couldn’t help but be reminded how poor many people’s self-image and body-image are. From the advertisements showing airbrushed perfection to the pursuit of thinness at all costs, there are some deep issues in society here that need to be discussed.

But that discussion can happen another day. Today I want to talk about loving yourself. It seems to me like too few people love themselves. As I talked about in my speech at TEDxYerevan, my definition for happiness is being in love with life. You can’t be in love with life if you don’t love yourself.

Loving yourself teaches you how to accept yourself for your good and bad qualities. It forces you to look within figure out who you really are as you can’t love someone you don’t know. It allows you to feel comfortable with yourself, giving you the freedom to embrace and rock who you really are. Loving yourself also helps you love others.

I don’t think you can fully love others until you first learn to love yourself. What would that love based on? Where would the foundation come from?

It seems to me that so many people are trying to fill a void within themselves (due to a lack of self-love) by seeking that love from others. That doesn’t seem like as healthy a recipe for a relationship as two people who love themselves and are looking to multiply that love.

But that’s just my opinion. I’m perpetually single, so what would I know? 🙂